26 Oct 2006 - Umrao Jaan

OPM*

Presents – Umrao Jaan OR Another Beard Tale


It is the summer of 1855 AD, in Lucknow, the capital of Avadh. It is the same year in other places around the world too, but not necessarily summer.

In the streets, Umrao Jaan Ada’s songs are a rage:

Dil Cheez Kya Hai (‘My heart is a cheese ball’, when cheese balls hadn’t been invented yet too!!)
And
Yeh kya Jageh hai Doston (‘Where the ****** hell are we?’, a later day rock anthem)

An integral part of Urdu literature, Mirza Ruswa's 'Umrao Jaan Ada' is an Urdu classic not to be missed. Umrao Jaan, that releases next week, is a paean to that great Urdu book, with some historical inaccuracies and major script changes thrown in.
Much like ‘The Symbol formerly known as An artist formerly known as Prince who was formerly known as Prince’ we track the life of Umrao Jaan Ada backwards, in flashback, just as Urdu is read.

Lets give this some irrelevant historical context first:

Bahadur Shah Zafar is a harassed man. As the last in the long line of Mughals he is irritated that he will only appear as a footnote in history textbooks later and furthermore will feature in a Doordarshan teleserial.
The British are bothering him and he hates parathas since it reminds him of the Marathas. This is because ever since Shivaji made fun of Aurangzeb’s name the Mughal Empire has been in decline.
To top it all, he hasn’t been to a party in ages since it has become a habit to decline (invitations).

Wajid Ali Shah, the nawab of Avadh is a harassed man. The British have exiled him to Calcutta and men with ‘Nawab’ as first name are walking around Lucknow, his capital, robbing him of exclusivity. He frequently has altercations with common men that go thus:
Wajid : I’m the Nawab of Avadh
Marble Slab Layer : I’m Nawab

Harassment, thus, has hit an all time high in 19th century India. Anti-harassment laws are laid down (and this is even before the workplace for women was invented)

Umrao Jaan’s story begins set in this historical context, though she begins her story named a different name. Born Ameeran, to a poor family in Faizabad, she gets kidnapped by Dilawar Khan, a local malcontent, as her name suggests a rich father. When Dilawar discovers that ransom money is out of the question he sells her to Khannum Sahib in Lucknow. Khannum Sahib, in spite of the name, is a woman who runs a Kotha in Lucknow.
A Kotha is a place similar to the modern town of Kota in Rajasthan, but much cooler because of the Mughal marble used.

Since the Mughal Empire has been in decline, for over a century, Men folk have taken to sitting around and growing beards. This is an excruciatingly slow and tedious process that involves waiting, which they have no patience for. (As you can figure, Barbers had it really tough during Mughal decline times and were only saved by the invention of the profession, ‘Hairstylists’)
So the men folk, they’d troop into Kothas as cricket stadia hadn’t been invented in India yet.

Kothas, hence, were a good business to be in, though they would never get a Nasdaq listing since they weren’t equal opportunity employers. Women like Khannum Sahib trained the girls that came in to be proficient in performing arts like music, dance and poetry. The girls in turn used these skills to keep men occupied while their beards grew.
Ameeran, who had changed her name to Umrao Jaan (That U.M.Rao Life) becomes proficient in all the performing arts and belts out hit after hit. As she gains on the popularity ratings, she changes her name again to Umrao Jaan Ada.

Nawab Sultan, played by Abhishek Bachchan, is a really harassed man. He doesn’t know whether he is a Nawab or a Sultan and has been rejected by 18 women. This is mainly because he writes Urdu forwards and every woman ends up reading his ‘I love you’ notes, as ‘You love me’.

When the harassed Nawab Sultan visits Khannum’s Kotha and leaves a note for Umrao Jaan, she falls in love with him, as she is dyslexic and reads his note right.

It takes them three years to meet though, as Umrao likes her men with a full beard. In the three years, Mangal Pandey has grown his hair and kicked off the 1857 revolt. The British, though, have retaliated and laid siege to Lucknow.

As Umrao and Nawab clink their Rooafzah glasses together, the British enter Lucknow and throw everybody out. They become the rulers of Lucknow but soon realize that there is no longer anyone to rule over.
They locate Umrao Jaan Ada at Faizabad and hire her as an ambassador for Lucknow, to attract people back to town. For a brief period, Umrao is known as Umrao John, as a telling comment on her British connections.
Will Umrao Jaan ever get the Gazette office to make changes to her name? Will Nawab ever be able to shave? Who is John?
Watch Umrao Jaan to find out!


* Objects in the Preview Mirror may appear sillier than they are.

Disclaimer: Characters in the above story are not based on any characters in the film. Any resemblance or humour is pure luck.

**OPM appears in the Thursday edition of Bangalore BIAS and previews a Friday release