Friday, April 08, 2005

Lend me your ears for a minute?

How do you think Cannibals manage to live as a society? You think they have rules or have stigma's about eating their own families ( as we do with marriages within families ) ??? And if so, how distant is distant enough?? Can you sneak up to your third cousin and take a bite off his shoulder??
You think they have uneatables?? you think they ever had a cannibal version of Gandhi who fought for the rights of uneatables?? What do you think the uneatables were demanding ?? You think they had boards in Cannibal club kitchens which said 'dogs and uneatables not allowed' ?? You think this inspired uneatable revolutionaries to force feed themselves to some upper-class Cannibals who found them unsavory??

And what about their problems in modern society??
How do these Cannibals manage? You think they fund all the human cloning research?? Do you think one of them might be thinking at this very moment " Hey these other humans.. they don't seem to be agreeable to being eaten. Maybe if we could perfect human cloning we could persuade them to part with an ounce of DNA, everytime we mug them. Crime rates would be down because after the Mugging we wont need to eat them...only take some DNA. The police and the vegetarians would get off our case. We can have large farms where we grow this DNA to healthy FDA approved eatables. We'll finally gain respectability with the humans. And maybe I can finally open that restaurant on Times Square."

More importantly, you think 'give head' has a whole different meaning with 'em cannibals?? You think they are thinking of things other than VDs when they promote 'Safe' sex ??
You think they'll ever like chicken??

You think Hannibal the Cannibal is based on the lecters of a famous cannibal historian?? You think we can dig up some statistics on why infant mortality is high among cannibal tribes??
You think Heinz and Hersheys' have products targetting Cannibals? If they do, how do they recruit the sales force?
Do cannibals wear Hand me Downs?? If they do, when and why do they wear them??

Is obesity, which is caused by all the junk food around us, controlled by cannibals? Do they have moles in every food and beverage company planting fatty food additives into all the junk food manufactured, just because Fat People help their cause??
Are fat people sold on the black market to cannibals in the shady markets of Istanbul or Djakarta??

You think the cannibals themselves have problems with obesity? You think they have an Atkin's diet which says ..'stay off middle aged men for a while and Eat a healthy mix of geriatrics and 22 yr old men.'

You think they end every meal with an A-Men ??

3 comments:

Dilip D'Souza said...

Zap my pal, sorry but I only got to this after you sent me the pointer some (many) days ago. I'll say this: there's a core of thought-provoking stuff beneath the fun. And lay off me, I'm inedible.

Anonymous said...

lol! This really got me thinking... I have some questions of my own... do hannibals blog? Do they websites... like the matrimony ones ... that connect them to edible humans? Do they have cookery shows on TV?

Anonymous said...

hahahahah... awesome imagination...