Fish have memory. Some species of fish have memory which lasts for about 8 seconds, but that is the maximum observed in the fish world.
8 seconds of memory. Which explains why fish keep making jerking movements every few moments. The poor guys have no clue where they were setting out to 8 seconds back. So the fishy looking jerkiness. 8 seconds of memory. After each 8 second gap they would remember nothing. Like a ram chip recording for 8 seconds and then erasing itself. Record, erase, rewind every 8 seconds.
As a result of the 8 second memory cap, many events in the fish world are governed completely by when exactly one was born.
To illustrate:
Small fish Guppy was born at 8.21.30 sec and Small fish Guppy the second, his younger sibling was born at 8.21.31 sec on September the 3rd 2003 in the east western swirls of the Indian Ocean. Now S.F.Guppy and S.F.Guppy the second, were blissfully unaware of the dangers of the waterworld [inspite of kevin costner] and were busy snacking on plankton [ plankton ofcourse, have no memory at all ] that surrounded their little water eddy.
A few miles northwest The Atka Mackerel clan celebrated the birth of Little Sharpy Jr. Since the atka mackarels were not sticklers for time they did not record the exact time of birth for Lil Sharpy Jr. The Atka mackarels were a violent tribe and they were tickled by the mere thought of crime, blood and all that fish, a la sea-slime.
It was a big day[sept 10 2003] at the Atka Mackarels, as Lil Sharpy Jr. set out South east to catch his first guppy dinner, all by himself. At exactly 2.20.06 secs Jr. settled down behind a large sea anemone to wait for some guppy to come by.
September 10th was a fateful day in the lives of the S.F.Guppy brothers. They had sworn to visit their old aunt who lived beyond the anemone fields. So they set out, one following the other, more or less efficiently as there was only a one second lag between their memories. [ Explanatory Notes: :)) Fish naturally know their blood relations and enemies by sight without assistance from their memories. A trait they no doubt picked up from the Italian mafiosi. Fish also have an innate ability to remember appointments with old aunts without assistance in the form of memory. This is a trait they picked up from the obscure fish movie 'Captain Correli's Mandolin' ( if you ask me why... er.... my 8 seconds are up, so i don't remember ) ]
The Guppy brothers, they were to deviate from their keep right route and turn left at the 3rd anemone junction to get to old auntie guppy's seaweed soup restaurant.
[Action:]
S.F.Guppy negotiates the left turn at exactly 2.22.38 secs.
S.F.Guppy the Second, fails to negotiate this turn at that exact moment because of the one second memory synchroniztion gap between him and his elder brother.
Little Sharpy Jr. grabs the moment and his dinner which kept coming right for too long.
One second too long. S.F.Guppy the Second was a second too late.
Little Sharpy Jr. had successfully quelled his own hunger.
8 seconds later:
-S.F.Guppy was saddened but forgot everything 8 seconds later. He then went on to his aunts -Seaweed soup restaurant and took up a career as a restaurant critic.
-Little Sharpy Jr. was hungry again.
Boredom and fishy methods to counter it:
Think of this one. You put a goldfish in a little fishbowl. This is what he goes through.
Start:
Oh! I'm a goldfish. In a small fish bowl. Thats nice.
In a very small fish bowl! Oh hell this place will run out of oxygen soon.
Oh No. HELP HELP Help Help i'm dyiiiii....8 seconds up.
And then again:
Oh! I'm a goldfish. In a small fish bowl. Thats nice.
In a very small fish bowl! Oh hell this place will run out of oxygen soon.
Oh No. HELP HELP Help Help i'm dyiiiii....
8 seconds up.
etc etc etc
So all you need to do is to aim to thnk like a fish and you will never be bored long enough for it to bother you.
Ok. Very bad. But I'm a fish.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Flashback : Quality concepts demystified
There was once a Zen master called Chow Yun Mein . He was not a Zen master for some old reason like wanting to learn the eternal answer to the puzzle of life. He wanted instead, to pass his time pleasantly without doing much.
So he developed one of those ever popular Zen master beards and wove around an old Chinese folktale replete with love, sex and violence, a hundred and fifty five pithy Confucian lines of wisdom.
He soon came to be known far and wide as Thriiponfoerrapa [ an old Chinese action word which meant 'one who is getting there' ] of the house of Opphyunihie[which was his native fishing village] ...All this fame meant that he was able to spend more and more time doing less and lesser. This he warmed up to as if it were his pet loin...er lion. [ the story of Thriiponfoerrapa and his pet lion is soon to be released in the form of a hentai action clip called Animalaterusk ].
So as he warmed up to his life and his lion in the vermilion shades of his borrowed pagoda, he grew.
He grew and grew and he grew some more. But as time passed he grew aware that his disciples and his beneficiaries were beginning to notice his loathing for his own principles of love and efficiency. He had to do something fast. He had to think of something brilliant to draw them away form their suspicions.
Yes! He had it! He would have to pretend that he was on his way to an even greater understanding of Life, The Universe and Obesity. So he very conveniently had a couple of visions in the presence of a few disciples and more importantly learnt to twitch his beard from right to left when he had these visions.
The disciple beneficiaries were very suitably impressed and pressed him to reveal the secrets he now possesed. They feted him with the best food and wine and even bestowed on him a more learned and formidable name ..Thriiponfoerrapamilla [ an old Chinese action word which meant 'one who is getting there much much faster, we even think he might be there already' ] On another note old chinese died out precisely due to the fact that it was absolutely illogical, unlike this lovely analysis.
So the new improved Thriiponfoerrapamilla of Opphyunihie spent time postponing the announcement of his new found savoir faire. As a desperate attempt he told his disciples that he would reveal the secrets on his death bed.So he ate and he ate and his old mother came to visit him. One day his old mother decided that her little Chow Chow needed some frugal and healthy home cooked food. So she made him rice gruel and seaweed soup.But Thriiponfoerrapamilla's constitution was not what it used to be. The hardy stomach lining which could breakdown the complexities of his mothers' cooking had long since disappeared.
And thus was he finally smote down. The rice gruel and seaweed soup got him and as he lay on his deathbed surrounded by his disciples he cried out aloud to his mother..' am...sick sick,Ma , sick sick,Ma '
His disciples researched his life and his dying words : Six SigMa i.e. Thriiponfoerrapamilla Opphyunihie.
For the Happily ignorant: Six Sigma Quality = 3.4 errors per million opprtunities
So he developed one of those ever popular Zen master beards and wove around an old Chinese folktale replete with love, sex and violence, a hundred and fifty five pithy Confucian lines of wisdom.
He soon came to be known far and wide as Thriiponfoerrapa [ an old Chinese action word which meant 'one who is getting there' ] of the house of Opphyunihie[which was his native fishing village] ...All this fame meant that he was able to spend more and more time doing less and lesser. This he warmed up to as if it were his pet loin...er lion. [ the story of Thriiponfoerrapa and his pet lion is soon to be released in the form of a hentai action clip called Animalaterusk ].
So as he warmed up to his life and his lion in the vermilion shades of his borrowed pagoda, he grew.
He grew and grew and he grew some more. But as time passed he grew aware that his disciples and his beneficiaries were beginning to notice his loathing for his own principles of love and efficiency. He had to do something fast. He had to think of something brilliant to draw them away form their suspicions.
Yes! He had it! He would have to pretend that he was on his way to an even greater understanding of Life, The Universe and Obesity. So he very conveniently had a couple of visions in the presence of a few disciples and more importantly learnt to twitch his beard from right to left when he had these visions.
The disciple beneficiaries were very suitably impressed and pressed him to reveal the secrets he now possesed. They feted him with the best food and wine and even bestowed on him a more learned and formidable name ..Thriiponfoerrapamilla [ an old Chinese action word which meant 'one who is getting there much much faster, we even think he might be there already' ] On another note old chinese died out precisely due to the fact that it was absolutely illogical, unlike this lovely analysis.
So the new improved Thriiponfoerrapamilla of Opphyunihie spent time postponing the announcement of his new found savoir faire. As a desperate attempt he told his disciples that he would reveal the secrets on his death bed.So he ate and he ate and his old mother came to visit him. One day his old mother decided that her little Chow Chow needed some frugal and healthy home cooked food. So she made him rice gruel and seaweed soup.But Thriiponfoerrapamilla's constitution was not what it used to be. The hardy stomach lining which could breakdown the complexities of his mothers' cooking had long since disappeared.
And thus was he finally smote down. The rice gruel and seaweed soup got him and as he lay on his deathbed surrounded by his disciples he cried out aloud to his mother..' am...sick sick,Ma , sick sick,Ma '
His disciples researched his life and his dying words : Six SigMa i.e. Thriiponfoerrapamilla Opphyunihie.
For the Happily ignorant: Six Sigma Quality = 3.4 errors per million opprtunities
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